The thoughts of it all
by LalexXDaisuki
Summary: Elena recaps her first day of being a Turk. And wonders how she can stick with it. ONESHOT


**Elena's thoughts after her first day at being a Turk.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with final fantasy.. it all belongs to square enix (i envy you!!!!)

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**Elena unlocked her apartment, threw her keys on the coffee table and collapsed on the couch. It was a hard day. 

It was hard enough starting a new job and not knowing anyone let alone starting a new job, not knowing anyone and kidnapping and murdering innocent people.

It was only her first day and she was sent out with the two other Turks Reno and Rude to torture and interrogate people so they would tell them where AVALANCHE was hiding.

She found it very hard watching as Reno used his EMR to harm the people.

As Elena thought about the day that had just passed, she found tears begin to creep up in her eyes. She couldn't see how she could stick that job everyday.

She was always brought up to be good natured, and to never hurt anyone, yet now she found herself in a job that would make her forget her childhood guidelines which had kept her happy for so many years in her life.

"I need a drink" Elena said, needed to rid herself of the guilt lying in her stomach.

She pulled herself off the couch and walked to her kitchen, dragging her feet all the way.

After reaching for the bottle of vodka on her shelf she slumped down on the floor. She downed the bottle of vodka as the tears rolled down her cheeks. The alcohol wasn't helping her forget what she had seen that day.

"How do Reno and Rude do it? How can they be desensitized towards the looks of pain and sorrow on these peoples faces?"

Just then she heard a knock on her door and a cheerful whistling person. She wiped the tears of her face and forced a smile. She opened the door and found Reno standing there.

"Hey 'Laney! What's up?" He showed of his pearly white teeth as he allowed himself into her apartment. "Where you crying?" Reno looked at her with curiosity in his aqua coloured eyes.

"Of course not, there was something in my eye" she forced another smile and repressed the tears that were threatening to spill.

"So what you think of your new job?" he asked while looking around at Elena's tidy and decorated apartment.

This is when Elena couldn't repress the tears any longer. She slumped herself onto her couch and hugged her knees tightly, her eyes downcast. Her face stained with her tears mixing with her mascara.

"Awh 'Laney! Don't cry! Are you just PMS-ing and cant help getting emotional?"

Reno was trying to make her feel better but in face he was just making her feel worse.

"'Laney, please tell me what's wrong" He was really worried.

He sat down beside her and put his arm around her, squeezing her into a tight hug.

Elena looked into his eyes and saw his sensitive side. A side she never knew he had because he hid it under that cool exterior.

"Reno…?" She looked down again.

"Yeah?" he said, squeezing her even more tightly.

"How do you do it?" Reno looked confused.

"Do what 'Laney?"

"You know, hurt all those people without feeling any guilt or remorse. I don't think I'll be able to go through with this job. I'm not… I don't know… I haven't even been in this job that long and I already want to leave.."

"Elena… I wasn't always like the way I am now. I wasn't always so apathetic to what's going on around me. It still gets me sometimes, I lie awake at night thinking because what I do keeps me from sleeping. The same with Rude. You will get used to this job if you just hold on for a little longer. After all, you're still a rookie. You're still a newbie" he laughed a little, while she smiled.

He had cheered her up. Who knew that Reno had a caring side.

"Well it's getting late. I better be off. See ya later… partner" He winked and exited.

"Thanks Reno" she whispered. She smiled as she locked the door behind him and went to bed.

Elena then slept peacefully all night until her alarm woke her for her job which she would now be able to endure because she has got a friend helping her along the way.

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**Well let me know what ya think... .**


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